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New(ish) Kid on the Block ....



The Ogre drinking hall was in uproar, Ogres waving fists, weapons, red goblins and parts of other Ogres at each other all trying to raise their voices enough to be heard above the chaotic cacophony of sound in the large timber building.

All this ceased as the large doors at one end of the hall flew open, crashing back against the wall (and a luckless Goblin servant) before creaking loudly in the sudden silence. In the doorway stood the figure of a Red Goblin, flanked by two Ogre Warriors, who had obviously been the ones that opened the doors with such force. The Red Goblin stepped forwards timidly.

he’s here” he squeaked.

“WHAT?” came a gravelly voiced shout from the other end of the Hall, then a ripple appeared to pass through the throng of hulking Ogres that filled the hall. The ripple coalesced at the edge of the Ogre crowd facing the Goblin and then a shambling figure pushed through the ranks of staring Ogres to face the Goblin. Her grey hair hung down over her shoulders and her tusked mouth worked wetly as she bent forwards to place her grotesque face inches from that of the now quaking Goblin.

“WHAT DID YOU SAY?” she repeated, hurling spittle and gobbets of mammoth meat onto the upturned face of the unfortunate petrified Goblin.

“He’s Here” croaked the trembling creature “Outside”.

“Right then!” She spat “lets settle this once and for all!” with that the massive Ogre Matriarch swept out of the Hall in a flurry of skirts.

Standing outside next to a travelworn looking chariot was a heavily armoured Ogre Warrior, wearing the traditional robes of an Ogre berserker and with an enormous double headed axe slung onto his back. The Warrior looked up as the Matriarch barrelled over to him, her skirts raising the red brown dust of the steppes in a cloud around them both as she halted right in front of him.

“Grokagamok?” she queried with a raised eyebrow. The Warrior sighed and shook his huge head.

“Gluggagramuk” he said in a deep baritone voice “Grokagamoks younger, more handsome Brother”.

This statement raised another round of shouting and arguing amongst the crowd of Ogres that had followed the Matriarch from the Drinking Hall and it seemed pandemonium was about to break out again.

“SHUT UP!” yelled the Matriarch and the Ogres silenced as one. “We needed Grokagamok to help the Mahou tribe back to dominance, too long have we struggled in the wilderness as others have claimed treasure and contracts that should rightfully be ours! I negotiated with your Mother MYSELF and she has insulted me by sending me a Pale imitation of the great Grokagamok! What Insolence, what arrogance, What ……the …..what are you doing ?”

The Warrior had turned from the Matriarch and was striding away across the camp, towards the Mammoth Pens. The Matriarch turned and looked at the gathered crowd of Ogres, they looked at her and then, almost as one, they collectively shrugged and set off to follow Gluggagramuk as he strode towards the distant forms of the Tribes Mammoth Herd.

At the Mammoth Pens the Tribe gathered pensively around their Matriarch, Griselda, almost as if she could shield them from whatever was occurring, she , however, was way too busy giving the Stink eye to Gluggagramuk’s broad back.

He was oblivious to this as he headed towards the biggest Bull Mammoth in the Herd, as he approached the Mammoth turned to face him, probably wondering what he was doing and why he wasn’t carrying an armful of delicious fodder? This question would go unanswered for the mighty beast as Gluggagramuk unslung the huge axe from his back and with two mighty blows, decapitated the bewildered Woolly Pachyderm. As the body of the Mammoth sank to the earth and its massive head (complete with shocked expression) rolled ponderously to a halt in front of the awestruck Mahou Tribe, Gluggagramuk leapt atop the head and brandishing his axe cried “Are you entertained? Is this what you wanted to see?”

Amidst the acclaim and applause of the thoroughly impressed Mahou Tribe one of the Ogres leaned forwards and said in Griselda’s ear “He killed one of our Mammoths, who’s going to pay for that?” Griselda thought about it for a moment and then replied “don’t worry about it, it’s not a Big Deal”

From this day on Gluggagramuk has accompanied the warbands of the Mahou Tribe Ogres and the Tribes Fortunes have been slightly less dire than before.



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